Let's Talk About Girls!
by ShadowDragoon32
Summary: His brother Jason is getting married, and out of curiosity, Nate asks Jason who the ideal girl is. He gets a rather interesting answer... slight Nalex.


**Disclaimer: I don't own WOWP or Camp Rock.**

**Author Note: Yo! This ShadowDragoon32, more commonly known as Anna the Awesome. Anyway, this is my first contribution to the WOWP/Camp Rock crossover section in preparation for my totally awesome debut with my buddy Bella on our collab name, Sniffing Purple Sharpies. Yes, that is what we do in our spare time because we are AWESOME. **

* * *

**Let's Talk About Girls!**

Jason was busy straightening his hair, humming a cheerful tune to himself as he did so. He was in an incredibly good mood, a light smile playing across his lips as he stared at himself in the mirror.

"… She is going to _love _me," he half sang to himself, glancing over his shoulder at the crisp white tuxedo lying on his bed. Jason gave himself another bright smile as he tugged the straightener through his hair. Suddenly the door burst open and in stormed a sopping wet Nate Grey, looking extremely irritated- and wet.

"Jason!" he snarled angrily, and Jason turned to gasp in horror at the sight of his brother.

"Hey! Get away from my tux!" he cried, and Nate gave him an exasperated look.

"I'm dripping in water, and all you can think about is your stupid tux? What happened to welfare for your brothers?" he asked, brushing wet strands of curly brown hair from his pale face. Jason pouted as he walked over to the tuxedo, lovingly smoothing it out.

"It's not stupid. This is the tuxedo I'm wearing for my wedding. But, now that you mention it, what happened there, bro?" Jason asked, and Nate scowled as he walked over to Jason's closet. Pulling out a towel, he began to dry his hair.

"Alex Russo thought it would be funny to dump water on me," Nate growled, taking off his damp shirt with some difficulty before adding, "Can you toss me a shirt?" Jason cheerfully obliged, trotting over to his closet and pulling out a shirt.

"Here ya go. You to don't get along very well, do you?" Jason questioned, and Nate sighed as he shrugged on the shirt.

"It's… complicated. I dunno how to explain it," he mumbled, and Jason cocked an eyebrow.

"What's complicated about someone dumping water on your head?" He frowned, and Nate looked uncomfortable.

"Look, it's… weird. Anyway, how's the wedding plans going along?" Jason's face lit up, a huge smile spreading across his face. He looked as though Christmas had come early, and Nate felt a pang of envy.

"It's going great. Danielle and I are so excited for the wedding; we've all ready sent out all the invitations and gotten our clothes for the wedding picked out. It's going to be great," he gushed before continuing on and on about the preparations for one of the biggest events of the oldest Grey's life. Nate listened quietly, toying with the towel in his hand. It was heavy and damp from the water Nate had mopped off his face and hair. A sudden thought intruded into Nate's mind, and he looked up, interrupting his brother's constant flow of talking.

"Hey, Jason, how do you know?" Jason paused, looking bemused by the unexpected question.

"Huh? What do you mean?" he inquired, and Nate bit his lip as he considered his words.

"Well, you and Danielle are so… right for each other. How do you know who the perfect girl is?" Jason stared at Nate in surprise, repeating his brother's last phrase slowly.

"You want to know about… the perfect girl?" he asked, and Nate nodded, before hastily adding;

"Hypothetically speaking, of course." Jason suddenly smiled at this, a mischievous gleam appearing in his warm brown eyes.

"Ah, so we're being hypothetical…?" he asked, and Nate couldn't help but wonder what he was getting into.

"Err, yeah. I mean, I've only dated a few girls and it'd probably help if I had some sort of guideline to follow…" Nate trailed off, and Jason smiled impishly in response.

"Well, here's the first and most important rule for a perfect girl; she has to be blonde," Jason said seriously, taking Nate aback. He stared at his older brother for a second, wondering if he was serious. Seeing that he was, Nate cocked his head.

"Blonde… but, I don't-"

"Do you have a better color in mind?" Jason interrupted Nate's protestations, much to the youngest brother of Connect Three's chagrin.

"I dunno… I was thinking a really dark brown, almost black color. And curly. I like it when it's curly," he muttered, before looking up to see Jason shaking his head empathetically.

"No, no, _no_. It has to be blonde, and it most _definitely_ has to be straight," he said firmly, and Nate looked ready to object, but Jason hurried on.

"And since we're on the subject, here's another thing to keep in mind; she has to be white, white as snow- think Cinderella," Jason said, looking pleased.

"But… what if she's half Caucasian- which is the politically correct term, by the way? And part Hispanic?" Nate questioned with a hopeful look on his face. Jason slammed a hand on the bed, causing Nate to jump and drop his towel.

"No! Get it straight! White, Caucasian, whatever- and besides, Hispanics are- wait a minute, isn't Alex Hispanic?" Jason asked, completely sidetracked. Nate flushed slightly before tossing his head proudly, snorting softly.

"Psh, how would I know?" he scoffed, looking uncomfortable. Jason frowned, and Nate decided to rely on one of the- at that moment- greatest things about his brother; his ability to be distracted.

"So what's wrong with Hispanics- wow that sounded racist, but what is it?" Nate demanded, steering away from the topic of Alex.

Jason obliged by replying, "Oh, yeah-it wouldn't work because Hispanic's have dark hair. It needs to be blonde, remember?" Nate looked slightly upset by this, and then blinked as something occurred to him.

"Wait a minute, that's not true- there's a slight possibility of a recessive trait coming through, or some sort of genetic disposition. Or they could dye their hair," Nate countered, and Jason frowned.

"Hey, we're being hypothetical! And all that smart science stuff confuses me," Jason retorted in annoyance, and Nate sighed.

"Continue," he said resignedly.

"They have to be thin and gorgeous with these really big, vapid blue eyes!" Jason said enthusiastically, and Nate cocked an eyebrow.

"And that matters how…?"

"I dunno, that's just how it always seems to work," Jason replied cheerfully, causing Nate to rub his forehead.

"Anything else?" he asked exasperatedly, and Jason nodded.

"One more- she has to be stupid," Jason said, and Nate frowned, thinking it over. He raised a finger, and then paused. Suddenly he smiled, leaning back.

"You know, I'm actually okay with that," Nate told his brother, and Jason nodded approvingly.

"I'm glad I got to impart in you a bit of my wisdom." He beamed. Nate, meanwhile, frowned, rubbing his chin.

"There's one thing I don't understand, though; you told me all this stuff about the ideal girl, but Danielle is nothing like how you described. Can you explain _that_?" Nate questioned, looking faintly disgruntled. Jason blinked, staring at Nate in surprise.

"What does Danielle have to do with the ideal girl?" he replied, looking confused, and Nate gave him an odd look.

"You… You said all this stuff about the ideal girl, but you're in love with someone who's the exact opposite of what you described. It doesn't make any sense," Nate explained, and a look of understanding dawned across his brother's face.

"Oh; that's what you meant. Nate, Nate, Nate; you have so much to learn." Jason sighed, shaking his head. Nate threw him a baffled look, wondering what was going on.

"Umm… what do I have to learn?" he requested, and Jason gave him a bright smile.

"That ideal girl I just described- she's a figment of my imagination. She's not real; I doubt there's anyone in the world _exactly_ as I described. And even if there was someone like that, chances are you wouldn't be able to stand being in her presence for more than five minutes- I know I wouldn't," Jason told his brother cheerfully. Nate frowned, staring at his brother with piercing brown eyes.

"So the ideal woman… is just a sham?" he asked, and Jason paused to think about it.

"Pretty much. The one you'll actually fall in love with could be totally different- like Danielle and I." He agreed, and Nate suddenly relaxed.

"Oh, good." He smiled, trotting over to hang up his towel.

"Which means, if you want ask Alex Russo out, you should go ahead and do it," Jason called after his brother. Nate did a double take, lost his balance, and fell over.

* * *

"Right, so how did everyone's scrying lesson go?" Jerry asked. Justin stood up, tossing his head.

"Great, as usual," he said confidently, holding a bowel of water in his hands. In it was a picture of a beautiful woman talking in a soothing voice, a weather map behind her. "I got to admire the weather girl- from a bowl of water!" Jerry nodded approvingly, looking at his son proudly.

"Very good, how about you, Max?" he asked his youngest son, and the youngest brunette looked up from his water, a confused look on his face.

"Was it supposed to turn black?" he questioned, and Jerry groaned.

"Max, you didn't concentrate hard enough. If you want to see and hear what's going on in a different place, you have to visualize who or what you want to see," Jerry told his youngest and Max frowned as he looked at the black tar like substance. Then he stuck his finger in it, raising it to his mouth.

"Ugh, Max, don't do that!" Jerry and Justin yelled at the same time, and Max gave them both looks.

"Why not? You're always telling me to try new things." Justin opened his mouth to retort, and then paused, frowning.

"Wait a minute- I haven't heard any obnoxious, unnecessary comments yet; _Alex_?" Justin turned around to see Alex setting here bowl back on the shelf, humming to herself.

"Ah, today is a beautiful day," she told them, smiling brightly. All three of them stared, dumbfounded, at her, Max taking the moment to stick the black stuff in his mouth.

"Are you feeling all right?" Justin asked incredulously, and Alex shrugged.

"Never better. Why?" she replied, and Justin rubbed his chin. Then his eyes lit up with understanding.

"What did you scry?!" he demanded, and Alex smiled mischievously.

"Oh, I just wanted to see how a prank of mine had gone down. But I got something _much _better," she explained cryptically before bouncing out of the lair, still humming.


End file.
